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38 Before 38

Flow[38 Before 38]

Breaking the daily streak has gotten me in a rut.

This blog is part of my 38 35 before 38 series. I write a blog for every single day for the 38 days leading up to my 38th Birthday.

I was afraid of this. I was afraid of breaking the streak. To block the flow. I was so afraid of this that I powered through writing when I was sick. Still my fears turned true. I missed a day.

Then I missed two.

I was already running out of ideas. But now I am having trouble with even sitting down an typing my thoughts. The ideas I have are not coming into shape. It is all clay. A big block of marble. A blank canvas.

A blinking cursor.

You might think it is proves the utility of this exercise. You might also think that being consistent would have helped me. It is not true. I have “wasted” some really good ideas for the sake of keeping up this schedule. Not because the end results were “bad”. But because they were undercooked.

They required more time and work to complete. Time and work that this schedule does not allow. Most times, I need to confirm research, look for citations, etc. I also need to improve the language. Not just fixing the typos and grammar. You need to employ precise language. Which requires revision and rewrites. Something you can’t do in a 24 hour turnaround time.

However, I was still making do. And then I missed a day. and then two in a row. Rereading is tedious work. And it becomes more tedious when you are not in the flow.

Missing these few days have made achieving my end goal even more difficult. I feel it is making me a worse writer. It all comes down to a lack of planning. I am really bad at planning. Of course, I have travel coming up, which would require me to write some posts in advance. I doubt it will happen, but I’ll try.

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